Speaking to the hearts of Men!

Blog Archives


Losing Fathers


Where are our Fathers? What happened to them

Hammed Roman Ajiboye


Fatherhood is very important, it gives children a sense of identity, purpose and destiny. Not too long ago, we had fathers who told us folktales under the full moon. They had no degrees but they were versed in life science. They taught and handed down lessons in morality. They passed down practical wisdom to us. They were there for us, we’d come back from school and wait eagerly for dad to come back. Therw presence alone assured us that all was well.

Growing up as a kid, i remember my father going through my school books even though his own education was limited. I remember with fondness my dad struggling to come to grips with the Nintendo pad,his dexterity at playing cards, whot and ludo. I still see him in the kitchen making yam balls or egg rice.

Men of my fathers generation grew up without the emotional baggage we grew up with. They weren’t confused by all the ridiculous humanist philosophies that bamboozle us today, their sexuality didn’t give them cause for headache and they had positive role models to look up to.

The rise of humanist philosophies, feminism and two income families have sounded the death knell on fatherhood as we know it. Men today face issues that no other generation before has faced. We do not know where to look for answers, the church wont and isn’t willing to look at the wounds we bear. And there are little or no positive male role models to look up to.

This cannot go on. We must act. Fathers are an integral part of strong families, strong families constitute enduring societies and civilizations. The emotional,spiritual and psychological needs of today’s men must be met, men’s issues need to be urgently addressed otherwise the boat we are in is steadily sinking into oblivion.


Depression in Men.






“Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about If you loved me you would.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

I stumbled on this while reading some articles, the writer, blogger or whatever you choose to call it in me leapt to life and i thought i should share this.


As men, we often believe we have to be strong and in control of our emotions at all times. When we feel hopeless, helpless, or overwhelmed by despair we tend to deny it or cover it up by drinking too much, behaving recklessly, or exploding with anger. But depression in men is a common condition. The first step to recovery is to understand there’s no reason to feel ashamed. Then you can face the challenge head on and start working to feel better.

The prevalence of depression in men is another indication that there is something wrong with the way men are brought up in today’s world. The code of silence that has been ingrained in our psyche as a result of society’s false social expectations is partly to blame. throw in pride and ego and omerta( a deadly code of silence) and we have a recipe for depression.

According to http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_men_male.htm

Depression is not a sign of emotional weakness or failing of masculinity. It is a treatable health condition that affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family. It can also lead to heart disease and other serious medical problems. Of course, it’s normal for anyone to feel down from time to time—dips in mood are an ordinary reaction to losses, setbacks, and disappointments in life.

Unfortunately, depression in men can often be overlooked as many of us find it difficult to talk about our feelings. Instead, we tend to focus on the physical symptoms that often accompany depression, such as back pain, headaches, difficulty sleeping, or sexual problems. This can result in the underlying depression going untreated, which can have serious consequences. In fact, men suffering from depression are four times more likely to commit suicide than women. It’s important for any man to seek help with depression before feelings of despair become feelings of suicide. You need to talk honestly with a friend, loved one, or doctor about what’s going on in your mind as well as your body. Once correctly diagnosed, there is plenty you can do to successfully treat and manage depression.

Tag Cloud